Hey friends! How is everyone doing? In today’s blog I am going to be taking some time to have some real talk about something that this mom is struggling with. There are so many different ways to do things and different situtions that we all find ourselves in and we are all doing the best we can. So today I am going to talk about something that I am having a hard time with and maybe someone else can relate.
So my daughter will be 8 months old this week (Aug. 31st) and I still “wake” her at midnight to nurse her. If you have read some of my previous blogs then you would probably know that my husband and I are extremely blessed with a great-sleeping baby. She has always slept through the night except for me waking her to nurse her. She never really would wake herself to nurse throughout the night. She’s never had a sleep regression (knocking on wood for sure right now). So for the first few months it was me waking her to nurse her at 9pm, midnight, and 3am. At some point we chose to stop the 3am and just see what happens. She slept through it from the first night and never woke up or adjusted her schedule. It literally had no effect on her. Then a few months later we chose to cut out her 9pm feeding. Again no effect. She never woke for it again. So currently we are at a 6pm nursing, 6:45pm solid food dinner and bedtime between 7 and 7:30pm. Then I dream feed her (get her out of bed and latch her without fully waking her up) at midnight and she is back in her bed by 12:20am. Then she wakes up at 6am for the day and another nursing session.
We have had a couple times now where for whatever reason, forgot to set the alarm or just slept right through it, we missed the midnight nursing session and like before she is completely fine. She doesn’t even wake up.
So here is my mom real talk. My baby does not need the midnight nursing session. I need the midnight nursing session. Yes I know it’s recommended to cut that by 9 months if they aren’t waking up for it, but I just can’t do it. On the days that I work I only get to nurse her three times at midnight, 6am, and 6pm. So for me to cut the midnight nursings would mean that on the days I work I would only get to nurse my sweet baby twice. I don’t know why, but that is a hard pill to swallow. The days I don’t work it isn’t a big deal because I’m nursing her all day long. Is this selfish of me? Who knows. I think we forget that nursing is just as much about the bonding as it is the nourishment. I need that connection and I am just not ready to give it up. I am not ready to close that chapter. I know we dream of having babies that sleep through the night and yes I would love to have an uninterrupted night of sleep, but that bonding time is more important to me right now.
Penelope is 8 months old and so much has changed this past month. We went from just rolling over every now and then to rolling all over the place, crawling everywhere, pulling up to standing, and actually walking while holding on to something. We now wear 12 month clothes and are so independent. I just can’t bring myself to add one more thing to that.
So for now I am going to be selfish. Who knows if I will ever get this chance again. I am choosing to soak up every ounce of my baby that I have left before she transitions over into a toddler. I am going to continue to grow that bond and connection as long as I can and enjoy the stillness of the middle of the night where the rest of the world is put on pause and I am able to just be in that with my baby one more time before the business of the day comes back in.
My parenting stance on things like this is, if it’s something positive for either the parent or child and it isn’t harming one or the other then keep trucking along. I don’t believe that me dream feeding my baby at midnight is cause her any problems. If anything it is helping her to trust that mom is always there and that she is loved.
Someone please invent something that stops time. My baby is getting too big and this momma isn’t ready for it.
Baby Dust To All,
2 thoughts on “Mom Real Talk”
I understand this . Elizabeth will be 13 months old on the 23rd, and sometimes I feel like she is just so independent that momma isn’t needed all the time. When she’s asleep at night , sometimes I go in there before I go to bed and cuddle her for a few minutes . But seeing how smart she is, seeing her personality grow so much , I’m such a proud mom. This pregnancy is going by too fast for me , too. We only have 17 weeks left until Noah is here. That’s so crazy to me!
Being a parent is always this battle between being so sad that they are growing up while at the same time being so proud that they are developing and becoming these individuals. It’s tough!