Hey friends! Today is January 15, 2018. How are we already half way through the month of January?! Time is flying by. Today I wanted to take a moment to talk about the most important thing that got me through my labor and birth of Penelope, my amazing husband. Yes this will be a brag-on-my-husband post, but I think once you reach the end you will agree that he is so deserving of this.
First off I want to start out by saying that Phillip, my husband, was amazing far before labor and delivery. He was amazing throughout the entire pregnancy. I have truly never met someone as supportive. Boy did I think he was supportive then. He was very attentive to every need I had during pregnancy. He listened as I explained the mountain of research I had done to come to each decision I had made. He trusted me in those decisions. He made sure that I knew that while we both were having this baby, it was important that I got the birth I wanted and he would support that in any way possible. So that started first and foremost with many, many conversations during pregnancy.
As soon as I woke him up that morning in sheer panic mode (check out my previous post to read more about our birth story), he switched over into hero mode. He calmed me when I couldn’t stop crying for fear that something was wrong with the baby. He got everything ready and got us in the car and to the hospital. He was calm the entire time even though I know he was freaking out on the inside. This is what I needed from him and we had even talked about this during the pregnancy. I needed him to be that calm voice of reason. In this moment he showed me how selfless he is by putting my emotions and me before his own fears.
Once we got to the hospital and everything started spinning out of control (how I felt it was happening in that moment), I was really struggling. I could not cope with what was happening. Phillip, being the most amazing husband that he is, continued to tell me positive things. He would continuously tell me how beautiful I was and how strong I was being for our daughter. He also reassured me that just because I was getting induced didn’t mean that I couldn’t have the non epidural birth that I wanted. This was a great reminder and also helped me to see that just because one thing changed doesn’t mean it all has to. I was still in control of my birth.
He held my hand and stroked my hair through every tough conversation and check that came up with no progress. He let me cry and held me during those moments and let me be in those emotions at the time. At other times he made his normal jokes that helped me to laugh and bring things back to the reality that we would soon be parents and how exciting that was.
There were four moments during the labor and delivery period that stand out to me and will be memories that I treasure forever. The first one is that sweet spot of time after they had broken my water, but before they put me on pitocin. Everyone left the room for several hours. Phillip turned on the playlist he had made for me and we had such an amazing bonding time. We slow-danced to songs that had played at our wedding. We laughed during other songs as I danced like a crazy person trying to get this baby out. We snuggled together as he told me what an amazing job I was doing and how proud he was of me. Those few hours really helped me to refocus on the task at hand and on the excitement that was to follow.
The second memory that I will cherish forever is during the labor part. Once my contractions finally started things moved pretty fast. From my first contraction to when she was born was only about 6 and a half hours. That’s pretty fast for a first time mom. So my contractions were very painful and there were lots of times when I would hold on to him and say over and over again that I couldn’t do this. We had talked during the pregnancy about if this happen and how I needed him to help me to realize that I could do it. He did just that. Not only did he tell me time and time again how strong I was, he reminded me of all the reasons I had told him I didn’t want an epidural. Then there was a moment when things got really hard. Phillip went to Penelope’s bag and pulled out a grown we had in there for her. He laided it at the top of the bed and told me to look at it when things got tough. This would be my motivation and reminder of our daughter and all the reasons why we are here doing it this way. I’m a very visual person so this was a perfect way to help me focus. I’m so thankful that he knows me so well.
The third memory I have of the labor and delivery is a saying that Phillip came up with. Again my birth experience wasn’t going the way I wanted, with having to be induced. I really struggled with it. At some point Phillip and I were talking and he made the comment that we just have to make lemonade out of the lemons we have been given. I know that sounds like a very obvious thing, but in the moment it was exactly what I needed to hear. So for the rest of the time we were there when things got tough we would just look at each other and say “lemonade”. It was very special.
That last and probably most special memory I have happened during the delivery process. I was squatting on the bed with my back to all the doctors. Phillip was at the head of the bed so that our faces were face to face. Every single time I would push I would hear him speaking calmly to me through out the pushes. He was saying things like “She’s almost here”, “You are doing amazing”, “You are so strong”, etc. I drew such strength from these comments. He did it every single push. He was my cheer section, cheering me on as I crossed the finished line.
I write this post to let you know the power that the people you invite into your birth can have. These people can either empower you like Phillip did me or they can hinder your birth. It’s important to have conversations before birth about what you need during it. We had never experience this before, but we tried to cover all the different emotions that could happen. I am so very proud of Phillip and the amazing husband he was during the process of bringing our baby earth-side. You really think you love someone and then you see them in a whole new light and your love for them grows. I will never forget the way he made me feel during one of the most valuable moments of my life. This blog post just doesn’t do it or him justice.
Thank you Phillip for going far and beyond what I could have ever imagine during this time. You were and are an amazing husband. This experience bonded us in a way that no one will ever understand. I love you sweetheart.
Baby Dust To All,