Hey friends!! Today is Monday November 20th, 2017 and I am 35 weeks pregnant! Today’s blog is going to be from a different prospective. I asked my husband Phillip if he could write today’s blog post. I didn’t give him any guidelines. I just asked him to talk about his experience with our pregnancy thus far. Most of the time when a couple becomes pregant there is so much focus given to the mom and baby. So I thought this would be his chance for him to shine. I have absolutely no doubt that Phillip is going to be an amazing dad. I know how amazing he treats me and can only imagine that he will treat her even better. All those amazing qualities I looked for in a husband he now gets to show her. I can’t wait to see him show her how to be a leader, how to trust God with all her heart, how to have a wealth of knowledge that mommy will never understand, how to brighten someone’s day with a simple joke, how to be someone’s rock in hard times, and so many more traits that he will pass on. So with all that being said here is this week’s blog post written by my amazing husband. In true Phillip fashion be prepared to laugh and cry at the same time.
When Cynthia asked me to write a post on her blog about parenthood and our pregnancy, my first reaction was what I normally do when she makes a serious request from me: I spent the next 20 minutes joking about what kind of graphic, irresponsible, and inappropriate things I would write. After she patiently waited for me to finish my jokes, she told me that I could write about whatever I wanted, that she just wanted me to be able to talk about this journey from my perspective. So I decided to write a bit about what it has been like for me through the pregnancy, along with how I’m feeling about my impending fatherhood. At the risk of embarrassing my wife and without further ado, here we go.
For those who do not personally know my wife, she’s the most adorable person ever. First of all she’s hilariously short (she claims 5’2, but I swear she has to be less than 5’). She has flat feet and her natural standing position has her feet at about a 120 degree angle from each other, so especially when she wakes up at night and she’s so tired she can’t open her eyes she looks like a quite beautiful Hoo from Hooville (for the Grinch Stole Christmas fans). She’s also adorable because she has the most kind, loving, and generous heart of anyone I’ve ever met. That’s the biggest reason I fell in love with her and proposed after only 10 months of dating: beautiful women are a dime a dozen, but one that literally cries if she thinks that a child or animal might be unhappy doesn’t come along often. A natural effect of her being so hilariously small with such a big heart is that I tend to be fiercely protective of her, and it breaks my heart when she’s upset or scared about something. So after a cancer scare and a difficult year and a half of trying to get pregnant, my initial reaction (and continuing reaction) to our pregnancy was both excitement about becoming a father and sheer joy at seeing my wife so happy.
It has been enjoyable seeing the changes in Cynthia over the past 8+ months. Even the mood swings have been fun! One time we were driving to a restaurant, and having not heard anything from Cynthia for about 30 seconds (a rarity), I cast a glance over at her. Her eyes were welling up with water. “Baby what’s the matter?” I asked her, worried that she might have read a text about a friend or family member dying or some other awful news. After a second she blurted out “I don’t know, I just feel like crying,” letting the floodgates open and alternately weeping and laughing at the craziness of it all, as I almost had to pull over from laughing so hard. The physical changes have made her even more gorgeous to me. That is one thing that pregnant women seem to not realize: yes, you get bigger. But there is nothing more beautiful to a man than a woman who is pregnant with his child. Perhaps it’s just the added amounts of physical contact – rubbing her belly, giving the occasional back massage, helping her to stand up, etc. – but I just can’t get over how good she looks. The primary issue that’s been tough with her pregnancy hasn’t been the emotional or outward physical aspect, it’s been all the aches and pains that come with bearing a child. She has back pain, side pain, acid reflux, occasional headaches, and the uncomfortable feelings that come with all of your organs being shoved to the side to make room for a human being. It’s been tough on her, so I do what I can to help her with things. I try to pick up the occasional household chores when I remember to do so, I massage her back when she’s having aches, I help her stretch, I do this thing where I lift up her belly from behind to give her a relieving minute of not having to carry it, and I just try to be as supportive and helpful as I can. I wouldn’t trade being with Cynthia right now for anything, seeing her transform into a mother before my eyes has been awesome.
As far as my entrance into fatherhood, I’m actually not very worried or nervous. I’ve known men in the past who were foolish, incompetent, and childish, and ended up being great fathers. So I guess my mentality is if they can do it, so can I. I’m 30 years old so it’s not like I’m young for a father, we have a good home which we own, we both have good jobs where we make enough to not have to worry about making ends meet, and our relationship is strong and lacks strife. From what I’ve gathered, many issues in children tend to be caused by unstable home environments (whether it be relationship strife, abuse, drug or alcohol problems, absentee parents, etc.), financial stresses, spiritual emptiness, and lack of security. As things stand right now, unless Cynthia starts mainlining PCP over the next few months we’re good on all of those. I know a lot of really good fathers, and I plan on doing what most of them do: be kind but firm; be an example of justice (being fair and truthful); be kind; play with her; educate her; and raise her to love and serve the Lord. In a word, my plan for being a good father is to use the wisdom that God has given me over the past 30 years to help my daughter grow up to be as happy as possible. Part of what relieves me of the anxieties of being a new parent is the fact that my wife has worked for years in childcare and has forgotten more about taking care of children than I’ll ever know. We’re also very blessed that we have a wonderful family and church that Penelope will be born into, with many people who already love her. Am I nervous about the actual birth? Yes, because I’ve never been there for a live birth and the idea of watching a person burst out of my wife like Alien makes me a tad anxious. But am I nervous about actual being a father and raising a child? No, bring it on.
Baby Dust To All,