So this is it. This is my first blog post ever. My first time admitting to the world the issues my husband and I have been facing. It’s very nerve-wracking to tell the world your struggles, but it also is very exciting and makes you feel like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders. Finally everyone will know and I won’t have to hide it anymore. Maybe just maybe I won’t have to walk this walk alone. Today is the start of a very important week for myself, my family, and thousands across the world. Today, April 22nd through April 29th is National Infertility Awareness Week for 2017. This is a week that is directed towards giving a voice to those who tend to struggle through this in silence. Did you know that the CDC says that 15% of couples in America are dealing with infertility? That about 1 in 8 women will struggle to become pregnant naturally? Infertility comes in many forms and does not discriminate based on race, religion, sexuality, or economic status.
I am the 1 in 8.
Phillip and I are the 15%.
We are dealing with infertility.
Infertility can have a major impact on your life. It sure has for us. All of the sudden something that you thought you had control over is not the case anymore. Infertility consumes your life. It becomes something you think about every single day. Just the sight of a child can send you into those thoughts. There are calendars, medications, timed intercourse, etc that don’t allow you to forget about this disease you have. This is a disease. There are many emotional struggles that come with it. Your body isn’t working like it’s supposed to. There are lots of questions why. You deal with the loss of hopes and dreams each and every month.
This has been our life for over a year now. As you will see if you check out “Our TTC Timeline Thus Far,” Phillip and I stopped using protection before we were married. We knew right away that we wanted children and thought that would be the case. I came off birth control and we thought it wouldn’t take long. Unfortunately for us we soon realized that something was wrong. Friends that had started trying after us had become pregnant and we still hadn’t. Slowly over time we became the only people in our group of married friends to not have children.
Finally in March 2017 we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. The feeling of this diagnosis was very mixed. We where obviously saddened by the reality of what we might be facing, but for myself it was a feeling of relief. I know that probably sounds crazy so let me explain: at this point I has spent about a year listening to people tell me “just relax”, “it will happen when it’s supposed to”, “get drunk one night and have drunk sex. That’s how it happened for us”, etc. These statements and others that were similar did nothing to give me hope like the person speaking them had meant. All these did was put the blame back on to me. Like some how it’s my fault we aren’t pregant. I’m not relaxing enough, or that I’m impatient. All the while I could feel that something was wrong. I don’t know how to explain it, but I knew things weren’t right in there. So for me this diagnosis meant that I hadn’t done something wrong, or that I wasn’t crazy for thinking something might be wrong. That it was my body that was failing me, not me failing myself. Finally I had a reason for us not getting pregant.
So after this diagnosis it was the doctors job to figure out what was causing the issue. So here comes the start of a battery of tests. First Phillip gets a semen analysis done and that comes back normal. One boxed checked. Phillip was not the issue. So next I got tons of blood work done and an HSG to see if my Fallopian tubes are blocked. The result was that my left tube is blocked, but the right tube is clear. Yay for at least one clear tube!! Also my progesterone was low.
So now here we are. Currently I’m on cycle day 34. By the way I have the longest cycles ever! Most are 42 days long. It’s crazy and of course effects this whole process. So eventually when I finally do start my next cycle in like a week I will be taking progesterone for 14 days from the day after ovulation to try and help get those progesterone levels up. Then the next cycle after that I will continue the progesterone and we will be adding Clomid for three cycles. We are hoping and praying that this works for us. If not, in 4 months we will be moving on to the next step.
To anyone reading this that has gone through or is going through infertility, first let me say how sorry I am that you are dealing with this struggle. It is not an easy road. I hope that you know that you are not alone. There are still many days when I feel like I’m the only person in the world dealing with this, so I completely understand. Please reach out to myself or anyone. Don’t do this alone!
I know our journey is just beginning and we are aren’t anywhere near the depth that some of you are. It doesn’t mean we don’t feel the pain of it. There’s no worst feeling than getting those negatives on the pregnancy test and that wonderful period month after month after month. To have it crash the joy and the hope that this month will be the month. This is infertility.
According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, you should seek the care of a specialist if you are unable to achieve pregnancy after 12 months of unprotected intercourse and the women is under the age of 35, six months if the women is more then 35 years of age. Never be afraid to ask if something might be wrong.
If you’ve made it this far then I want to thank you for taking the time today to read a little bit of my story. Make sure you keep checking back here to follow our journey to Baby Townsend.
Baby Dust To All,
2 thoughts on “Infertility Awareness Week”
I wish you all the luck in the world! As you know, I have a son, but my boyfriend and I have been struggling to conceive. We found out he had a very common complication known as varicocele veins in his testicle causing low sperm counts. He had surgery in December to fix that and now we wait…..month after month….period after period. The app on my phone says I’m about to have a second period in April, oh lucky me. 😦 my cycles are extremely short 😦 as if one isn’t depressing enough, let’s antagonize her with two ….its only been four month sice the surgery bit feels like 6+….its hard not to feel the blame again….the pressure is real….i had issues with progesterone throughout my first couple pregnancies that I lost, the issue was there with kam but it was controlled….your story may nudge me to go get checked for that….previously I didnt need anything to get pregnant, only to stay pregnant, but now I can only wonder….there are so many couples struggling with infertility , you are definitely not alone…i with you luck ! You can and will do this, don’t give up! As far as my sanity on this, I know that there are so many options for having a baby including surrogacy and ultimately adoption, and I am willing to do whatever it takes….i agree that the stress in unavoidable, its just there hanging over me like a curse, you will be a great mom when it happens!!! so good luck on your journey, I’m off to stress more about mine haha
Hey Jamie! I have heard of varicocele, but personally don’t know much about it. I’m so sorry that you both have learned that he has this condition. That is such great news that they are able to fix it! I’m praying the surgery has helped. Two periods in one month has really got to be tough. I feel like you probably aren’t even over the first one before the next one comes along. The blame game is very real. There are days where I blame myself for the fact that my husband doesn’t have children yet, but I really try to push those thoughts aside. They will only lead me down a very dark road. We also say out loud one postive thing when we start to think negative in this process. It helps so much! Yes please get your progesterone checked out. For me they took blood on cycle day 21 and was able to test the progesterone level. I’m not a doctor, but I would assume having it up before you get pregant would help your body keep itself pregant. It never hurts to get it checked out. If you ever need to talk just message me. We don’t have to do this alone! 🙂